Kingdom Women

Just for laughs…

Tony and I laughed out loud over these “inspired comments” that Reinhold, a friend of ours from years ago, posted on my post listing eighteen things I was taught about being a woman. So I thought I would pass some of them on for you to enjoy too. The “inspired comments” are in red italics.

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Of course I can lead, but only through my influence on my husbandso I better master the high art of man-ipulation.

I can never hold any position of strategic influence or leadership in the church – they would have to build ladies’ toilets on the leadership floor.

Because Eve was deceived, I, as a woman, am more open to deception than a manso I better not ask him to use his credit card.

God only uses a woman when a man isn’t available. (This permits women on the mission field.) I am thinking of starting a female jazz quartet..

My husband is the leader; I am there to serve his calling and vision. His destiny is the one that counts. After all, it’s called History and not Herstory, right?

My husband is the priest of our home. And priestesses are not biblical anyways

I have to be very careful about what I wear in case I cause a man to lust. And brown is the only color permitted for those woollen socks.

A strong woman probably has a “Jezebel spirit” so, for God´s sake, beware of dogs!

I shouldn’t take the initiative but pray for my husband to do so in order that I can follow his lead. Lead him not into temptation” being the main prayer theme.

I always have to obey my husband, willing submitting even if I know he’s wrong. Just don’t let the children know ….

If God uses me to lead/teach men in any way, it’s like God speaking through Balaam’s donkey–an aberration. I should learn I-a, Y-a, j-a so to have something to say

There are no such thing as women elders they always look younger anyways.

Once I have children, my place is in the home. Let him drive them to school.

There are plenty of ministries I can involve in–prayer and women’s ministries, Sunday School and making the coffee. I should be content with this and not seek to use my gifting outside of those prescribed boundaries. You might run into the danger of making church a better place.

4 replies on “Just for laughs…”

Enjoyed the humor! Don’t forget what an asset a piano-playing wife is to the male religious leader too! :-).
Thanks for your writing Felicity, and for those who are joining you in the battle to see the amazing part that God’s women have played, and are continually called to play in the kingdom. May your tribe increase!

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